Why I don't give a fuck when it rains in Bangalore

Yes, its beautiful when it rains in Bangalore and yes people are really happy and start posting in facebook, twitter and even on instagram about how miraculous it is when it rains in Bangalore. But there is a flipside for this downpour of beautiful droplets of water from the sky:

The traffic
Have you seen the traffic when it rains, Jesus Christ; its like there has been a nuclear attack and everybody is trying to get away from here, people just go mad on the roads.
And the roads, aren't they beautiful and clean, its so spotless and well maintained that an airplane can land on these Bangalore roads during a crisis like the rain. Sarcasm aside, people who are responsible for Bangalore roads must be shot and then hanged, you can find a well after every two meters on these roads and these wells get filled with water when it rains, obviously.
And the auto drivers, they pick exactly this time to fight with the everyone on the road, but what they don't realize is that when they are showing off their Kannada vocabulary in middle of the road poors fellows like me are are struck on a bike 2 kms behind waiting for the traffic jam to clear.
So next time when you think rain is beautiful, imagine yourself in the middle of the road, nowhere to go, listening to some auto driver going on and on about his private parts and wishing you'd rather kill yourself than this torture.

The girlfriend who doesn't want to go out
Ahh...the girlfriend problem, have you ever noticed when it rains these girls act as if they are made of sugar and they think they'll melt if they go out in the rain. If you haven't you'll, sometimes you may think that its cute and all but I swear to god its one of the most annoying things they are capable of doing.
Things worsen, if its dinner time and if you want to go out to eat, you have another thing coming, this rain in Bangalore will always start only in evening and continue till late night. And thats how you don't go out to eat dinner outside and instead order-in food and cuddle till you kill yourself.

The clothes
Yea, we all have washing machines and yes we use it too, but after the clothes come out the dryer, its not completely dry, probably 90% dry, being perfectionists we need to dry these clothes the traditional way by handing them outside, and the rain god loves to fuck 'em up. We already have once a week laundry day and its gotta rain only on that day, this my friends is called Murphy's law.

The umbrella thief
Yea that's me, If you have lost your umbrella anytime in the last few years than there is pretty good chance that I was the one who stole it. I didn't wanna become an umbrella thief, the society made me one. I use to be a good fella you know, I used to buy umbrellas but people use to steal it from me, I might have lost a million umbrellas, literally. Actually, you can't call me a umbrella thief I am more of a umbrella ex-changer, I steal from one place and some other jackass steals it from me in another place, and thus the exchange.

And that's why I don't give a fuck when it rains in Bangalore

The difficulty in eating a chocolate

Everytime!! Its so difficult for a responsible adult to eat a chocolate outside.
It starts out easy, you are out roaming around maybe just went out for a movie or some food or even to run some errands, all of a sudden from nowhere you have this urge for some choocaalateee, you think, what the hell and go buy a cadbury or a kit-kat or maybe even a sneakers, now starts the difficult part, you need to pay the guy; it starts out by pulling that wallet from the back pocket which is all the way around, you pull it out and now you obviously a grown up adult, educated, with a white collar job will not have change to pay the poor guy so you give a 100 bucks note and he gives back the change, now you have to arrange the change in 1rs, 2rs, 5rs, 10rs, 20rs and 50rs order and put it in the wallet and push it back in that back pocket which is all the way back.
Now to tear that wrapper is one more big headache, God only knows what these wrappers are made of,  they are so freaking difficult to tear; you try it with your hands first and then with your teeth and with few tries its done, the wrappers' out. Now comes the responsible part, where are you going to throw it? there are no bins around obviously, now you gotta stuff that wrapper in your pocket and if it were a hot summer afternoon than that chocolate will be dripping all over the wrapper and you see a tree or a lamp post or even a transformer which is covered with trash and you say to yourself that you are better than this and shove that gooey wrapper into your trouser pocket and walk on as if nothing happened, but deep down you know that there is that stain which will never go off.
By this time you have almost reached near your vehicle and your girlfriend has started to nagg. One hand you have the half eaten chocolate on the other you have the helmet, your mouth is filled with chocolate and your ears are getting busted by your better half, and you say to yourself choocaaalateee, I love you(not the girlfriend).